I've been inside all day so didn't notice until just a few minutes ago. Got on my bike to ride the two miles home. It's 37 degrees outside with a strong breeze. Quick, here's what you do. Go to your linen closet and pull out all of the old blankets you don't use anymore. Yes, all of them. Next, call a couple of your friends and tell them to do the same. Seriously, there's not much time! As soon as you are ready, go pick up your friends, with your several blankets, and drive around town looking for homeless people. Check out the bus stops and near liquor stores and parks and wherever there are benches for the public. You will find homeless people in metro areas and in suburban areas too, like shopping centers and malls, behind Walmarts and Targets and such. Once you find these people, just hand them a blanket, don't ask them if they want one, it doesn't matter, they need one, or two.
And, if you have the chance, pick up some dollar burgers at McDonalds and give them out too, some coffee as well, if you dare to care that much. Now! I mean it. Go!
25 Şubat 2013 Pazartesi
IT'S COLD !!!
Adam Lanza And Asperger's pt 2
Part 2
I can't tell you the depth of despair and depression I experienced since last Friday, and the Sandy Hook incident. Pretty much any time I relive events of my past, I also relive the emotional pain and turmoil from then too. Add to that the current sadness we all have been feeling over the Sand Hook incident, and I was feeling overwhelmed. I wanted to write about it when it happened, but it was too difficult. Several days have passed now and I'm feeling better about it. The depression has subsided, but so has some of the desire to write this. I will write, but I can't guarantee how much effort I'll put into it.
To understand Adam Lanza, you really must understand how Asperger's Syndrome affects people (again, it must be said that Asperger's doesn't make people violent) And to understand the motivation for his shooting spree, you must understand the environment Adam was living in, you must understand the psychology and dynamics of his family, especially that of his mother.
I have no doubt that my own family shits a collective brick every time I write about them. But that's perhaps the crux of the problem of our own family dysfunctionality. I no longer talk with my family, except for brief chats with my nephew. Some time a ago my parents moved and did not give me their new address or phone number. I only know that they moved to Arizona to be near my brother. But all of this is of little importance. What is important for the telling of this story is the environment I was living in as I grew up at home, and how my family reacted when I displayed symptoms of Asperger's.
It is also important to understand how relatively new the diagnosis of Aperger's Syndrome is. It was first discovered in 1944, but didn't become a part of mainstream psychiatry until the 80s and 90s - long after I had left home and eventually became homeless. As a child I was suffering from an unknown condition, so, as is often the case, my parents were led to believe that I didn't have a condition. It was then easy for my parents to believe that the problems I was having were of my own selfish creation.
Every human being has an innate desire to belong, to be a part of and participate with other human beings in all the activities that make up life. To do this successfully, humans must be able to communicate with each other. One of the biggest problems for people with Aspergers involves communication. Not only do Aspies have difficulty communicating their own thoughts, ideas and interests with others verbally, they have a difficult time understanding what other people are trying to say back to them - especially in a social context. I believe that is why for some Aspies they are drawn to, and excel at, other types of non verbal communication - it's about the desire to connect and belong, and compensating for a lack of verbal skills.
Although I did well enough in other areas of study in school, I did rather poorly in English, especially with spelling. Instead of getting me some specialized help to overcome this problem, my parents accused me of a variety of negative things, of being lazy, of "not paying attention in class", of "not trying hard enough", of "day dreaming", etc. And for these infractions, my parents thought that the proper corrective action was to punish me. It was this punishment that created feelings of guilt, which in turn started my lifetime of depression. The punishment, and the disapproval of my parents for things I had no control over was painful, and damaging. Now, there was period when I was about 6 or 7 years old, when my parents were considering sending me to a psychiatrist. But first they thought they should talk to my school teacher. I have no idea how that conversation went, but afterwards, my parents gave up on the idea.
Funny, but I just remembered something similar which happened about the same time. The whole class was sent to the school nurse for eye exams. I struggled to read the chart. I told the nurse I could not see the letters. She said to me, "you're making yourself not see them." She was under the impression that I just wanted to have a pair of glasses. She said that my vision was fine. During that summer I joined little league baseball. The coach noticed I had a hard time catching the ball. After playing catch with me for a couple throws, he suggested to my mother that I get a real eye exam. Not only did the optometrist discover my need for glasses, he was astonished that I could function with such poor eye sight.
Yes, we need to appreciate the job that school staff does for students, but we need to also remember that they are not experts in everything. If only my parents had gone ahead and sent me to a psychiatrist way back then, I probably wouldn't have had the problems I've been living with all these years. But I digress. I searched for it, but could find nothing to indicate that Adam was seeing a psychiatrist at the time. If anything, psychiatrists can teach a person the coping skills necessary for dealing with the difficulties they face in life.
Stay tuned for part 3
My First Book of Many
It's finally here. The first in the series of books, The Homeless Guy Blog In Book Form is now available on Kindle, through Amazon. (if you don't own a Kindle device, you can easily download the book app and read the book on your PC or other device)
I am transposing this entire blog into book format. The blog certainly has enough content to make several books. The first book has over 48,000 words long, though it includes only the first few months of the blog. Having the blog in book format makes it much easier to read, it flows, and you don't have to fish through the old archives as you read.
Just follow this link, The Homeless Guy Blog In Book Form.
The book costs only 99 cents, of which I will get 35 cents for each one sold. The next book in the series will be ready by March 1st.
At Caiola's: Party of One
Back when I was waiting tables, which seems like a lifetime ago at this point, I’d often hang out at bars, by myself for two reasons: 1) I got free meals at work and was too lazy to cook the rest myself, and 2) What is at one moment a quiet, thoughtful afternoon of solitude can become an afternoon filled with bemusing stories of camaraderie. 100% of the time if I’m dining alone I will take a seat at the bar instead of a table for one. It’s so much more entertaining. Which is part of the reason why this woman dining alone at Caiola’s was so fascinating to me. Her back to the room, facing the window, she almost mocked me and my need for togetherness.
I took Mandy out to Caoila’s for her birthday. She’d never been, and I decided I’d rather spend an evening enjoying outstanding food and drink rather than take a chance on a gift that she’d feign excitement over and consign a respectable 12 months later. We had an amazing time! The food was decadent and complex, but not so complex that I couldn’t understand the menu, if you get my drift.
It was a Wednesday night, and we were in the back room, through the kitchen. Being the sous chef that has to stand near that door must be the worst. There was a group of three respectable upper-middle-aged guys in the corner to my left, one had a Southern accent and I heard them talking about Marketing, television, and the Bangor Daily News. (Hmmm). Behind Mandy was a younger couple who left shortly after we arrived. Then a woman, about 62ish, waltzed in and sat at a two top against the wall diagonal from us, facing the window. The waitress only put down a single place setting, water glass and menu. Table for one.
I knew almost immediately that I wanted to be her. She had a black cardigan, a simple canary-red blouse underneath, with a mid-calf ivory colored a-line skirt that had, like, ribbing or piping instead of stripes throughout. It was a beautiful skirt- hip, yet age appropriate. Her ballet flats, undoubtedly leather, matched her blouse as though they came together. Perhaps they were in fact ordered from the J.Crew catalogue at the same time. Dark framed reading (?) glasses hung low on her face, probably Michael Kors or Kate Spade or some designer brand. My favorite part about her was the bag she carried. It was my dream bag. A caramel leather tote whose sides slouched in around the handles the same way my canvas bags do. It was my dream bag. I think if Diane from Cheers was a real person and lived to be 62, this woman is what she would be like.
Out of the bag she pulled a pristine hardcover book, and inevitably tuned out everyone except for the waitress, who was forced to break into her line of vision when she brought yet another Grey Goose martini with a twist. Or maybe this woman opted into the Buy Local movement and ordered a Cold River martini. I liked that she didn’t like it dirty. I tried a dirty martini once, it was like salty... salty... it was like drinking the ocean if the ocean was made out of olives.
Occasionally she’d pull out a legal sized pad and take notes. On what, I’m not sure. By the way, I wasn’t trying to stare. She was directly in my line of vision.
I imagine after her iceburg salad, steak or bacon wrapped scallops and three martinis she probably pulled out of the parking lot in her 1992 Volvo Station wagon. Although her 3,000 square foot home with its commercial-grade kitchen was only 1/6 of a mile away, you know she didn’t drive because you never see fancy women like that just walking around the West End. Her youngest daughter usually uses the Volvo but she’s WOOFing in France now. It had better visibility than the Mercedes anyway, plus she liked the sentimental value of driving it. Yeah, she was a little tipsy but it was a very short drive if cops are going to venture into the West End, they don’t make it past Brackett, Spring, and the hospital respectively.
One thousand feet later, she pulled into the secret road between Carroll and Vaughn Streets in the West End that connects all of the garage/back entrance/guest houses and settled in for one more cognac in her fucking jacuzzi tub.
Or maybe she was just too exhausted from running her law firm all day to prepare herself a meal. Maybe she didn’t want to sit at the bar because she wanted some peace and quiet for a change. Maybe she was supposed to meet up with the Oshers and they’re still in San Francisco, or the Hagges, but they were at a fundraising dinner and this was her back up plan. All I know is while she was sitting alone at that table, with the dim lighting, Amelie soundtrack and blowing $65 before tip on a meal for one person, I wanted to be her. Minus her imagined kids.
Hi, I'm here. Remember me?
This post started a few months ago as a farewell letter. I was about to retire this blog, and for that, I apologize.
Last week two of my blogger friends inspired me to come back here. 1) Ally over at Broke207 was kind of like, "Hey guys, I've been really bummed out lately and haven't written here in a couple of months. Sorry!" But in doing so, she made me laugh out loud with a quip about skeevy internet people and their intentions. She helped me realize that although I don't feel like I have anything to write about sometimes that's okay. Back in 2009, I only posted like 4 times. That was the year that I was REALLY unhappy at my job and knocking boots with all sorts of inappropriate people. Maybe I'm just in a little bit of a creative rut. What's it to ya?
I also got an email invitation to meet up for blogger happy hour. One of my favorite things is when internet friends transition to in-person friends. Yes, it can be awkward at first (but it can also be awkward when you see a friend from real life for the first time in over a year and they know exactly what's been going on in your life.) The happy hour was I think around May or June? I met two nice ladies Samantha and Greta, among others, and I had a great time hanging out. The problem is though, in good conscious how can I go to a blogger happy hour knowing I'm thisclose to abandoning this thing. This is our paraphrased conversation Me: "Kate. I'm like a loser who never blogs anymore. Can I still come?" Other cool blogger: "Yes! And start blogging again, dummy"
Now probably more than ever, I spend my time listening to podcasts and cooking. Or... watching Hart of Dixie. I'm not afraid to admit that I love that show! Rachel Bilson had me hooked when her character fell for comic book loving Seth in the OC. Actually, Seth from the OC My new favorite callers at work are the ones from rural areas with thick accents who can’t find our products anywhere. Because I imagine them living in someplace like Bluebell. Oh, did you just yawn? Me too. I’m sleepy despite the fact that I've literally done nothing all day.
So where do I stand now? I don’t know. I’m in a happy, reasonably healthy relationship, working at a job that has plenty for me to write about, but I can’t because it is a real job. (Meet me for a drink off the record and maybe I'll give you an anecdote or two.) I have no major life plans on the horizon and although I know that there may be shenanigans to write about, it's difficult to say what my immediate or intermediate future may hold, and what will be good fodder for the blog. My cat is still crazy and I still run into ex-lovers at unexpected times and places. But sometimes you just run into exes, high school classmates, random people who you're like, "You look so familiar."
I'm applying for an MFA in Creative Nonfiction Creative Writing. Since procrastination is my forte (can't fail at something you don't finish! Ha! Except... there was that SIXTY FIVE dollar application fee...), you can probably credit this post as the final procrastination straw. If I'm accepted into the program, get ready for a whole lot of creativity up in this bitch. In the meantime, I think I'll take up a practice from my days of more frequent posts- keep a list of blog ideas. There might even be a few on deck at the moment, but it's difficult to be certain.
Consumed during this post: 3 or 4 'servings' of Simply Naked multigrain pita chips, 1-2 servings of zesty spice and garlic hummus, this cocktail but with blackberries instead of mango (my mango went soft.)
24 Şubat 2013 Pazar
E-mail from Greyhound's CFO
Tonight I received an e-mail from Andy Kaplinsky, Greyhound's CFO. Andy wants to talk to me next week about the Gift Ticket Fee.
I'm excited. I anticipate a robust and professional conversation. It would help the petition cause if we had hundreds of people sign the petition over the weekend.
Thank you for your support - I am amazed at we had over 8200 people sign this. You are all awesome; lets all push this petition hard over the next few days. This weekend could make or break the cause to end the $18 Gift Ticket Fee!
Shawn
Just got off the phone with Andy Kaplinsky - Greyhound's CFO
First off, I want to publicly thank Andy Kaplinsky for taking time to call me today. We had a good free-flowing conversation on several topics relating to Greyhound, customer service, etc. He apologized for the long delay in getting back to me, and took a great deal of time to thank me and the petition signers for their concerns.
According to Andy, 80 - 90% of their charge backs are related to the "gift tickets." Charge backs for gift tickets primarily fall into 2 categories: 1) Fraud - someone steals a credit card and buys a bus ticket; 2) A person buys a ticket for someone else, the person doesn't show up, and the purchaser wants their money back. Andy freely admitted that the gift ticket fee has been a topic of discussion off and on at Greyhound for the last couple of years, and while "Greyhound is exploring ways we can address the issue," that due to the large amount of charge backs, the company just isn't comfortable with that. Andy also admitted that the fee is a convenience fee as well.
In addition, according to Andy, the company is looking at ways to invest in the technology to better "sniff out" fraudulent purchases, however, from an operational standpoint, Greyhound has chosen to first invest in new buses, and investing in customer service training. (Note - Andy was very clear in saying that Greyhound needs to improve in customer service - he compared it to turning a freighter in the ocean).
I made a couple of suggestions to Andy for some "short -term fixes" which would help with the chargebacks:
1. When someone purchases a "gift ticket" - have an additional screen stating that gift tickets are nonrefundable if the person does not show up, etc. with a check box stating that the user agrees to these terms and conditions, etc. This would provide Greyhound with evidence that the purchaser knew that the ticker was a non-refundable ticket, etc.
2. On fraud, I asked Andy if Greyhound would consider charging the gift ticket fee for bus ticket purchases made within 14 days of travel. In other words, 3rd party tickets purchased more than 14 days out would not be subject to the fee. This should reduce fraud exposure to Greyhound.
Andy wanted to express his appreciation for the feedback and response to the 8,000+ plus people who have signed the petition. It was a great conversation.
So...where do we go from here?
I let Andy know that I was going to continue the petition drive. IMHO, I gave Greyhound some steps to begin eliminating this fee. By singing the petition, you can send a clear message that you want Greyhound to implement the steps I just recommended, and to invest in the technology needed to reduce fraudulent purchases for bus tickets.
Thanks to all of you for signing! We are making a difference. Please sign, share, and post a link to the petition on your Facebook or Twitter Walls. You are all awesome!
Best,
Shawn
http://www.change.org/petitions/greyhound-eliminate-the-18-gift-ticket-fee